Rewards

For 6 weeks now I've been participating in an amazing fitness challenge. When I say it's been life changing, I mean it. It has opened my eyes so much to my fitness journey. I had gained such an unhealthy view of being healthy. Yes, that's a thing. I became so hard on myself that I literally just put fitness to the back burner. Combined with a new job, I was just not focused on myself. Plain and simple.

When I say "an unhealthy view of being healthy," here's what I mean: It's Valentine's Day several years ago. My roommates and I had just gone out to dinner - they all had delicious food, I got a gross salad... They came home and enjoyed baking and decorating brownies, I sat there debating on if I could reward myself with one for eating so well that week. Well, I did... and then I cried and made myself do push-ups.... as if that even did anything for the calories my body had not even absorbed yet. Seriously? Push-ups over a single brownie. Looking back now, it's ridiculous.

I chose to title this post rewards, because over the last 6 weeks the definition of reward has come to mean so much to me. It's not just about rewarding myself with a cheat meal or patting myself on the back when I do something right. I've mentally begun to reward myself for starting over from scratch. I'm giving myself credit. Learning to love myself at whatever stage. The reward of that concept has been more than I ever hoped for. No, I'm not to my goal weight. No, I'm not to the size I want to be. No, I'm not evening beginning to look like I want. BUT, I feel like myself again. I'm thinking like a healthy person again. (This time, actually healthy and not obsessive.)

These past 6 weeks I feel like I've had more of a mental and emotional breakthrough. I've found my determination to do morning workouts. To track macros. To not beat myself up over anything I might do "wrong."

I've accepted perfection doesn't exist, and to me, that is my greatest reward.

Holy Before Photos

Well, it's been about 4 years since I've taken a before photo. Sadly, they are somewhat similar in appearance. I'm not at the size I was then, but this last year really got to me.

However, they are also totally different. The girl back then didn't know what "fitness" was just yet. She didn't have the amount of passion that can only come with time dedicated and seeing results.

I have that now. I have my passion and my drive back.  I know I'll see results. There is nothing like a before photo to continue that determination.

Guess what my after photo is... A celebrity? Nope. A fitness model? Nada. It's myself. My goal weight I made the first time several years ago. Except this time I want to exceed those results.

I'm set out to be the best, healthiest version of myself I can be!

The Year of "Try"

Wow. Has it really been 5 years since I began this blog? Has it been 5 years since I started this journey towards fitness? 5 years of major successes and some failure. More failure this past year than any other. But, I'm not lingering on failures because that gets you no where. So, here are some successes. In the past five years I've:

• Lost 55 lbs.
• Learned to love running
• Started crossfit and fell in love
• Learned to cook healthy meals
• Fell in love with healthier foods
• Gave up cokes of all kinds
• Ran 5 miles straight 
• Did a fitness bootcamp on my own
• Learned to love working out at 5 a.m.
• Fell in love with lifting heavy
• Ate Paleo and succeeded 
• Did Whole30 and succeeded 
• Ran a 5K
• Got handstand push-ups
• Pull ups

I'm sure I have more I can list, these are just the first things I thought of. 

OK, now for the failure... This past year I forgot about all of those successes. I lost my passion. Lost my drive. Transitioned to a new stage of life working a full time, very busy job. Let fitness and living healthy fall by the wayside. Gained 30 lbs. Not pretty things, or anything I ever meant to happen. 

That's where my year of TRY comes in. Webster's defines it as:  "to make an attempt at."

All I have to do is try again. I will try and I may fail, but I know myself and when I make an attempt, I'll succeed. How am I making myself try? What am I doing to get out of my comfort zone and start working towards healthy living again? 

I signed up for a Spartan Race with my best friend. I signed up for an 8 week fitness challenge. I started working out again today - walking/running again today and I have someone to keep me accountable. I'm starting crossfit again after the holidays and I have someone to hold me to it. 

As I progress there will be a million other ways for me to try, things for me to try, but all that matters is I'm ready and willing to TRY. 

I'm looking forward to a much better 2017 where I love living healthy. 

I ❤️ Snacking

Snacks... We grew up with them. Or at least I did. Afternoon snacks at school, snacks during Sunday school, after school snacks, snacks during road trips... We've all "snacked" at some point in our lives.

They can be healthy.... Or horribly unhealthy. Raise your hand if you've ever grabbed a bag of chips to have a few.......and then the bag goes in the trash when you're finished because it's empty.

Snacking keeps my metabolism going. It gives me energy during the day. Now,  I've learned to snack on healthy items. I've recently gone back to "paleo/primal friendly," but this is one snack I love. 

Brown rice cakes, all natural pb, honey from my local farmers market and cinnamon! SO good. 

Other snacks I love: 

Celery and almond butter 

Berries 

Raw almonds

Hummus & bell pepper slices

Cucumber slices 

Baked zucchini chips

Kale chips 

Lettuce wraps 

So, here's to snacking! *Just make sure it's the healthy kind*

"Paleo Friendly"

I've eaten strictly

Paleo

Primal

Whole 30

No sugar

Low fat

Low carb

Vegetarian 

Daniel diet

The list goes on and on and on..... 

What am I getting at? I'm finally entering a lifestyle. Where I'm going to eat for me. What my body does well with, while still being healthy. Believe it or not, one of the easier plans to follow for me was along the lines of paleo. I wasn't as strict as they come, but I did well while I was doing it. So, I'm now eating "paleo friendly," as I've coined it. I'm following a lot of paleo guidelines, but throwing in a couple of foods that really work for me. 

I challenge anyone looking at changing their eating habits to really follow something that works for you. Not just a fad diet. Strive to live a healthy lifestyle for good, not just to drop a few pounds. 

Organization Is Key

My one goal for this weekend was to organize my bedroom. You know I'm stressed or my life is hectic if my room is a mess. 

I love being organized. I'm talking about color coordinated clothes and jewelry organized. Since moving into a new house (6 months ago... 🙄😳) I haven't had anything to my liking. I've put it off because of simply not being motivated enough or liking the space I've had. 

In taking back my life and not letting things stress me out, I'm finally organizing everything more efficiently. I'm going through clothes-shoes-jewelry-scarves. I'm determined to downsize my things and myself. 

See the correlation?

Goodwill pile- out the door 

So, here's to continuing to find my passion for loving to live healthy. In every aspect of my life. 

Excuses End Here

It's embarrassing that I let this blog go for a year. It's embarrassing I've let myself go for a year. Not only physically, but emotionally. I stopped taking care of me like I used to. It was all about the job. Work took over the way I saw my life and lived my life. Too tired from work to hit the gym. Don't have enough time to get to the gym then get ready. Can't go on lunch break and come back sweaty. Oh, we had something catered? Sure, I'll eat that horribly fattening meal. 

I'm done with excuses. I'm done trying to live my life around my job. I'm going to start living life WITH my job. It will require planning ahead. Getting more sleep. Staying more focused on my goals.

But, 

I.Know.I.Can. 

Something clicked this morning. I can't explain it, but it's my wake up call. I'm coming back with determination. Here's to new workouts, healthy meals, losing a good 30-40 lbs, and excelling at my job. No more excuses.